The Myth of Sexual Purity

The Lie of Virginity

One type of questions that kept coming up was, I did such and such. Am I still a virgin? The problem was that there is no standard definition of virginity, but subjective. People have been talking about virginity for more than 1000 of years, but we don’t even have a medical definition for it!

Virginity is simply the first time someone has sex, then what is Sex? How they count sex. Some say its penetration, its oral sex. It’s not sex unless you have had an orgasm, its pleasure based. Anyways virginity is too subjective to define it.

Virginity and its Blood

Virginity is a sham being perpetrated against women. Virgin is always almost synonyms with Woman. Whatever you name it virgin sacrifices, popping cherries, white dresses, supposed vaginal tightness. Virginity, and what it means, and what it has to do with hymens is often misunderstood and there is a lot of incorrect information out there. It is important we all know the real facts.

The Facts of Hymens

The hymen is an elastic collar of tissue that has nothing to do with virginity

  • The hymen is NOT like a piece of Glad Wrap at the entrance of your vagina.
  • You can NOT tell if someone is a virgin or not by looking at their hymen.
  • You can NOT break or damage your hymen doing activities like gymnastics or riding a horse.
  • It is NOT common for tampon use to affect your hymen.

There have been many myths about the hymen around for thousands of years. Even medical people believed them. But we now know it was all wrong! The hymen is set just inside the vaginal entrance and is well protected by the two layers of lips of the vulva, the labia major and the labia minora. It is stretchy (view the diagram below).

Will I bleed the first time I have sex

  • It is common for you not to bleed the first time you have sex.
  • There are many things which influence whether bleeding happens or not. All hymens are stretchy but some are more stretchy than others.
  • When bleeding does occur with first-time sex, it might not even be coming from the hymen. Tiny splits can happen in other parts of the vaginal entrance.
  • You cannot tell if someone is a virgin or not based on whether they bleed the first time they have sex.
  • You cannot tell if someone is a virgin or not by looking at their hymen.

The hymen is a stretchy collar of tissue just inside your vaginal entrance (the passage to your womb). The hormone (chemical) Oestrogen changes the appearance of your hymen over your lifetime.  After puberty (when you develop breasts and get periods), the hymen becomes more stretchy – a bit like a hair scrunchy. Just like our noses are all slightly different, our hymens are all slightly different too.

Some hymens may develop a small tear when stretched. The hymenal tissue is well supplied with blood, so will bleed.  Most people heal very quickly and there is no sign of damage within a few days. This is the same story for other little splits that might happen anywhere at the vaginal entrance.

Check out what Laci G says about this in her YouTube video

What does female ‘virginity’ mean

  • Virginity is a quality an individual (male or female) has and may choose to change by deciding, freely and without coercion or impairment, to experience sexual intimacy with another person of their choice.
  • So only you choose to change it – no one else!!
  • You can’t lose your virginity or have it taken away from you!
  • There are lots of situations where sexual contact might have happened BUT we did not get to make a decision – like we might have been too drunk or too young or too pressured or someone abused or assaulted us… none of this is sex!

Therefore, virginity is not a physical thing but a quality that we carry either in our heart or our head that cannot be lost or taken, but rather a quality that we can choose to change. Learning the facts about hymens and virginity helps everybody.


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